Sexual harassment, or…

I’d like to give my reasons for not liking or wishing to partake of the #metoo movement. What started, as with so many other movements, as a forum for survivors of sexual abuse has turned into not only a witch hunt, but too often a complete distortion of exactly what it means to be a sexually abusive person. Actually, rather than begin with what is not sexual abuse or harassment, one who tells a non-offensive, innocent and slightly dirty joke. I’ll give an example of one and how a person in power used that power to totally over-react. I worked for several months at a company, everything was going well, and one day my female boss and another female were standing chatting, when I thought I’d make them laugh. So here goes: The Brits have a thing in which they say, when coming upon something unexpected, they’ll say “’allo, ‘allo, ‘allow.” So I told them about a bloke who came home one day to find his wife in bed with three blokes, to which he said ‘allo, ‘allo, ‘allo? His wife responded with “aren’t you going to say ‘allo to me?

Yeah, filthy, right? Now if you honestly think this is a case of sexual harassment, well, you, reader, are part of the problem. I told this when only we three ladies were there, I didn’t use any profanity. Well, the next day I was unemployed! Yes, this was cause for them to dismiss me. No, taking me aside and saying she thought it inappropriate, just don’t come back. I do not consider this a case worth putting someone out of work, I consider this an abuse of power. For me, it was just a temp job, and there were many more to follow, but for those in high level positions, actors, musicians, writers, politicians, etc., we all know the cost, to their livelihood, their reputation; the cost is very, very high. So before someone “outs” a person for something as heinous as being a sexual predator or being guilty of sexual harassment, maybe people need to take a stop back. I can only imagine what she told my co-workers as to why I was no longer there. She may have told them that I told a very, dirty, filthy joke which she couldn’t repeat; imaginations would have run amok. I’m only thankful she didn’t escalate it such that my career as a temp would have been ruined.

Here’s a story which hopefully will help to put things into prospective as to just how out-of-hand things have gotten: A lady and her husband were having a discussion with their daughter, who is in her mid-teens. So they asked her; if she was wearing a pretty new outfit, and a co-worker told her she looked nice, is that sexual harassment? She actually said yes, as did she when asked if a fellow student told her she looked nice. She added it was totally inappropriate. I think you know where this is going; if people don’t know what it is to be sexually harassed, then it needs to be explained. Another example, and this is going back about 30 years. I worked at a call centre, and my manager was in his early 20’s. He was always looking me up and down, trying to get me alone, etc. I told my immediate supervisor, a male in his late teens or very early 20’s, with whom my manager was quite friendly. Well, he told everyone there, and they were all laughing about it. So, as this was getting me nowhere fast, I decided to just avoid being alone w/ this creep. Then one afternoon as I was preparing to leave, he got me alone and, looking me up and down, asked how much I wanted my job. Well, people, not that much. I never went back.

Let’s be honest, ladies, don’t we choose clothing which will make us look nice, don’t we style our hair, and don’t many put on make-up, nail polish, etc.? So if no-one says we look nice, don’t we feel a bit hurt and think maybe we really don’t look that nice after all? I know I’m a woman, so maybe when I tell someone they look nice, or I like their earrings, whatever, it’s not offensive; but does that mean if I was a male, I’d be reported for being ‘inappropriate’? And with all those coming out of the closet, what if someone to whom I give a compliment mistakes me for being a lesbian, trying to hit on her or sexually harassing her?

So, how about we get back to reality and stop diminishing the pain and suffering which REAL victims of sexual abuse and/or harassment have had to live with. Like being a survivor of incest, or rape, or being threatened with dismissal if the person doesn’t acquiesce. This whole movement is completely out of control, and all one needs to do is point a finger, and that person’s life, family and career are over, regardless of the fact the whole allegation may be entirely fabricated, or embellished to make it seem serious where it’s not.

I don’t like living in a world where people are becoming so sensitive that a joke or a compliment are considered and treated as being as brutal as rape, incest, and real harassment.

I think it’s time for some perspective, and to be very thankful if you are one of these ‘sensitive’ people, that you have never experience true sexual interference. You clearly have no idea what it’s really like, so kindly take your indignation and imagination and save it for something real.

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