When humans are bad, they are unjustly said to be behaving like animals

I agree that a snake is not the nicest of animals, but when a human is devious, this is the animal whose character they are most closely compared, as in being referred to as a snake-in-the-grass. When one is sly, they are said to be foxy, but when one is pretending to be crazy, they are said to be crazy like a fox, meaning of course, they’re quite the opposite. When one is gluttonous, they are called pigs. Well, pigs don’t eat excessively, as when a human is said to “pig-out.” If someone is a poor housekeeper, or slops food onto their clothing, they are called pigs, and if overweight, they are fat pigs. And when someone takes more than their fair share, and is said to be hogging all the food, or in another reference, hogging the blankets or the conversation. All of these are unfair as none of these attributes if you can call it that, are true of these lovely animals. When a woman who had a pig for a pet, was interviewed, she told how her pig was cleaner than either her dog or her husband!

When someone slinks around trying to pick up a one-night-stand, they are catting around or that they have the morals (or lack thereof) of an alley-cat. When they cheat on their mate, and sleep with multiple partners, they are called dogs or mongrels. The last one is also used when referring to one of mixed heritage. If one stands all day, then their “dogs” are hurting, but why feel equate to dogs is anyone’s guess, and how one can be dog-tired when I know our dogs sleep most of the day is also confusing.

Some references aren’t meant as nasty, like a shy person being sheepish, or when one is said that they would eat anything, thus they eat like a goat. But when one is overweight, they are often called an elephant, a rhino, or they’re called a fat cow, or if they eat constantly, they are said to eat like a horse.

I am uncertain how strong the next animal is, but when a human shows great strength, they are said to be as strong as an ox. Of course, if a person is targeted and unable to defend themselves, they are called lame or sitting ducks. If one is not in their right mind, they are told they are cuckoo, like the bird, and if they’ve got some crazy notions, they’re just plain squirrelly. But of course if they’re lives are going quite well, then everything is just ducky. But if they aren’t particularly intelligent, they are said to be a bird-brain.

What others? Well, a woman who only wants to be with much younger men is a cougar, a person who is active during sex is a tiger, one in a bad mood is a bear and if you must confront this person, it’s akin to bearding a lion is his den. And when that person gets angry and yells, he’s roaring like a lion. And if the female is possessive, she’s guarding her possessions or young as does a lioness.

If afraid, one is chicken, if silly, they’re as silly as a goose, but if they do something duh, they’re called a turkey. Is someone saying you’re as slow as a turtle or a snail, and the lack of energy makes one as lazy as a sloth, feeling “slug”ish?

Does someone copy what you say and do? Then they’re aping your behaviour. Some would say it’s a case of monkey-see, monkey-do. And if they like to have fun, well, they’re just monkeying around, and aren’t having as much fun as a barrel of monkeys? Although, truth be told, I once saw about six or so chickens in a barrel, and I can guarantee they were not having fun. Why, they were crammed in so tight, they felt like sardines. And if a man is under his the thumb of his wife, well, he’s of course henpecked! But he’d better not divorce her else she’ll bleed him by sucking him dry like a vampire bat.

Does someone you know walk a little off-kilter? Well, they’re of course Pidgeon-toed. Unless they waddle; then they’re walking like a duck, which is nothing to crow about. And everyone knows a bad doctor is a quack. He’s certainly not as wise as an owl which is a shame as he’s/she’s the only one who can prescribe something for that frog in your throat…rivvet!

Do these terms bug you? Or do you think a loved one is as cute as a bug’s ear? I’ve never even seen a bug’s ear, nor did I think they had actual ears. So pull the covers up real tight so you can be as snug as a bug in a rug.

And who could forget when good-ole George Jefferson feared his grand-child, who had grandparents of a mixed marriage, a black grandmother and white grandfather, would look like a zebra?

A young lass is sometimes called a filly, whereas when one is said to be acting like an old fuddy-duddy, they are often called an old coot. And when really crotchety, they’re acting like the old gray mare and should be put out to pasture. A better word for these people is ogre, unless they are really only a bit grumpy and really an old softy, in which case they may be referred to as curmudgeons. Of course, when told they are now too old to drive, getting people to give up their keys makes them become as stubborn as a mule. they are referred to as

Were you ever asked if you did something by accident, or was it truly on porpoise? If you see someone who is follicley challenged, they’re likely said to be as bald as an eagle, and if they’re not wearing any clothing, they must be buck-naked, or as naked as a blue jay. They’d better make a run for it, and hope they’re as quick as a jack rabbit, or as speedy as a jaguar.  If they don’t get caught, they’ll be laughing like a hyena, as they had enough good old horse sense not to be seen.  Of course, he could pretend no-one sees him as he’s the type to always bury his head in the sand like an ostrich. He’ll also do that when people make fun of his overbite, as he looks like a chipmunk. They shouldn’t make fun of him, though they say they’re just horsing around. But if taken seriously and called out, they might decide to settle things in the ring, and hope they’ll win by floating like a butterfly and stinging like a bee, as the late, great Cassius Clay, better known as Mohammad Ali used to say. And the winner will be as happy as a lark, swanning around, proud as a peacock. And a British term for one such as this is to say he thinks he’s “cock of the walk.” In this instance, however, they are referencing a rooster.

When it comes to being in a fight, one must beware of wolves in sheep’s clothing, especially as some are said to use guerilla war-fare, though the meaning is often taken to be more like the actual gorilla, but as we all know, only humans go to war.  And only humans kill for sport, or to settle an argument, to get even, or because they are monsters. And that is why it makes me so angry when humans do things which are heinous, and are referred to as animals. No, they are not animals; animals kill for either food, to protect their family, when in heat and fighting for the right to mate with a particular female of their species, or self-defence when attacked by a predator.

And that is why I wrote this blog; we too often use analogies when acting badly, and it’s most unfair to do so, as quadrupedal animals don’t display the kinds of horrid behaviours as do humans. But the worst is when a person commits the most horrid, despicable acts unto the innocent and defenceless, such as genital mutilation on girls, some as young as one year of age, or rape, especially as done by the likes of Bill Cosby by drugging the person, or being a murderer, especially the murder of children. These acts are not perpetrated by animals either literally or figuratively. They are committed by monsters, so kindly remember when a human does any of the abhorrent things mentioned above; they are not acting as do quadrupedal animals, they are acting as the most amoral, deplorable, vicious monsters only a human could ever be, and while they are often acts which are venomous, as they are poisonous to so-called civilized society, they are still, none the less, MONSTERS!!!!



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